They misunderestimated me: George W. Bush and I have the same IQ

So after taking a peek at an article today on celebrity IQs, (I had to confirm that I'm smarter than OJ Simpson) I discovered that George W. Bush and I share an IQ of 125. AMAZING. While G Dubbya and I do not share the same political views, I always thought he'd be a hoot to go share a few beers with, maybe play a game of darts or two, devise ways to balance the budget on a cocktail napkin, etc. Here is a listing of the top 10 Bushisms:

http://politicalhumor.about.com/cs/georgewbush/a/top10bushisms.htm

We fall a few brainy points above JFK and Britney Spears (also smarter than OJ Simpson) but well below Reggie Jackson and Shakira. This basically means folks, that I totally have the smarts to run for President OR be a gyrating pop-singer. The world is my oyster. Who knows what's next, Kim Kardashian for mayor?

Palm Sunday Eggcellence

While many other Christians were enjoying their ham with a side of Cadbury Creme Eggs yesterday, as a Russian Orthodox Christian I still have one more week of fasting and church to go before celebrating on April 15. In case you were wondering why the Orthodox celebrate Easter on a different date, we can thank the Julian calendar which dictates that Easter must occur after the Vernal Equinox, after Passover, with the first full moon in Spring, and on a Sunday after March 21. The Gregorian calendar followed by all other Christians basically uses the same determing factors except for Passover (even though, the Last Supper which Jesus celebrated with his apostles the day before His crucifixation was a seder, so I personally think that the date of Passover is an important determinant).

Ok, stop yawning, I'm done with the history lesson! In the spirit of Easter season though, my brother and sister-in-law came down to Virginia to make traditional Ukranian pysanky eggs which are Easter eggs decorated with melted beeswax. The technique is as follows: You dip a stylus in wax, melt wax in a candle flame, write your first design on the egg, dye the egg a light color, wait for the egg to dry, write your second design on the egg, dye the egg a darker color, wait for the egg to dry, repeat until you have the desired design and colors. You then remove the wax by holding the egg near the candle's flame and wiping it off with a soft cloth.            

If you have a steady hand, patience flowing through your veins, and an egg dye kit that isn't a PAS one from CVS, you could potentially make eggs that look something like this:



I have none of these. Here is my paisley chicken.

I hope everyone had a joyful Passover, Easter, Spring Equinox, Palm Sunday, Bubba Watson winning weekend!

Haters Gonna Hate

Did anyone else stumble upon an article or two yesterday about Samantha Brick, a British journalist who recently authored an essay discussing the hardships of being of being really, really, ridiculously good-looking?

If you haven't, below is an excerpt:

"Throughout my adult life, I’ve regularly had bottles of bubbly or wine sent to my restaurant table by men I don’t know. Once, a well-dressed chap bought my train ticket when I was standing behind him in the queue, while there was another occasion when a charming gentleman paid my fare as I stepped out of a cab in Paris."

"Another time, as I was walking through London’s Portobello Road market, I was tapped on the shoulder and presented with a beautiful bunch of flowers. Even bar tenders frequently shoo my credit card away when I try to settle my bill."

"It’s hard when everyone resents you for your looks. Men think 'what’s the point, she’s out of my league' and don’t ask you out. And women don’t want to hang out with someone more attractive than they are."

You might now be thinking to yourself, ‘Sheesh, what kind of goddess is she? Long, flowing, locks, angelic features, a body to die for?’ Or maybe……………

Well, haters gonna hate, y'all! Some of the comments attached to the articles I read were downright cruel from calling her article a belated April Fool's Day joke to 'We need to remember that British hot is American not-on-meth' (ok, that was pretty funny). Some people even seemed personally offended at her perception of herself, as though her thinking she is beautiful made them in some way less beautiful.

But what actually persuaded me to write about Ms. Brick today is that even though I do think she borders on grandiose and is perfectly average-looking, I slightly admire her confidence in herself. Even with all the naysayers, she thinks she's hot shit.  Actually, not even just hot shit--the hottest of shits EVER!

On days when you're feeling low because money's tight, pants are tight, wouldn't it be nice to have such self-assurance to remind you that you're still a total treat?

Making Obama Proud by Running an 8 Minute Mile

MY GOD, I LOVE THIS PICTURE AND WANT TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH THIS LITTLE KID.  Anyways, I recently read an article about a 35-year-old man who thought it might be fun to retake the SATs to see how he faired as an adult. Doesn't sound like my idea of a fun Saturday afternoon, but to each his own.

In the same spirit of drudging up old painful memories while I was huffing and puffing away at the gym today, I thought, 'Hey, Michelle! I wonder how you'd do now on the Presidential Fitness Test!'

Ah, the almighty Presidential Fitness Test--never failing to remind me just how slow and weak I really was in grade school. One area where I was a total champion though was the sit-and-reach test which was meant to gauge flexibility. Did you know that being awesome at the sit-and-reach test predicts success later in life?*

I've made sincere progress in my fitness since then. I can now run a mile (or two or three!) without dying and have developed both lower and upper body strength so to appease my curiosity, I plan on retaking the President's Fitness Challenge. I'll share my results in a subsequent post and even if it's not the confidence boost that I hope it is, at least I won't be wearing ugly gym shorts this time around and that's a good start.







*oops, not a real fact, but it should be, right?

Is Lent the Best Diet Ever?

While as a child Lent meant replacing my Disney afteschool lineup with religious epics (my brother and I can quote almost all of 'The Ten Commandments' and 'Jesus of Nazareth'), eating spaghetti for dinner at least twice a week, and spending what felt like endless hours in church, as an adult I have come to know Lent as a time of renewal both spiritually and physically.  

As an Orthodox Christian, if I were to strictly follow lenten guidelines, as a general rule I would abstain from meat and dairy products for the entire forty days, including the week preceding the beginning of Lent and the week before Easter, for a total of 56 days.

On Wednesdays and Friday, which are considered strict fast days, I would also abstain from oil, fish with backbones, and alcohol. I am the first to admit this is way too challenging for me to do, even for just 56 days. Sorry, Jesus!

I do abstain from meat during Lent which means more veggies on my plate and this year, I have challenged myself to abstain from alcohol. While my body is currently still adjusting to these changes, I know that by the end of my lenten journey my body will feel more nourished and refreshed.

Lent is also the perfect time for 'spring cleaning' your soul and eliminating the distractions that take you away from your purpose. I hope that this Lent I will make the time to mediate more, exercise more, be outside a little more, and do more things that make me happy. As a Christian, I can't ignore that Jesus is the reason I observe Lent in the first place. But I also think that one of the best ways I can thank Jesus for His ultimate sacrifice is to acknowledge that His spirit lives within me and to take better care of myself.

That being said, Jesus and I hope to see y'all at Ramparts for wing night April 18.

Nude Attitude

In the spirit of my previous posts on aesthetic adventures, I found myself at Spa World in Centreville, VA on President's Day. Before actually making the decision to trek all the way out on 66, I was careful to read the reviews on Yelp, as honestly, I had no idea what to expect. Reviews were mixed, with the main concern being the required nudity in certain areas of the facility. Ahhh, Americans! Pssh!

Nudity--my own and that of others--does not bother me, so I decided to take the plunge. When you arrive, your shoes are immediately taken from you and you are required to go shoeless for the remainder of the stay. Before heading to the whirlpool area, I went to the gym to get in a quick workout where I found other Spa World visitors working out barefoot. Is this unappealing to anyone else? Maybe my problem is with foot nudity? Thank goodness I had my running shoes hidden in another bag and was able to shoe up before getting on any of the equipment.

After I was done exercising, I made my way to the whirlpool/sauna area. I'm not totally retracting my statement that nudity doesn't bother me (well, non-foot nudity), but I will say that since it was very crowded when I went, I think the proximity to other naked people took some adjusting to. Once I blocked out the fact that I was thisclose to Naked Nancy and her bff Buff Betty, the whirlpool was actually very relaxing. And for those of you wondering-- no one had a Miami Beach body, so men, stop your fantasizing about a bunch of hot girls prancing about in a pool of water, and ladies, no worries about how you look in your birthday suit.

Once I was done in the whirlpool, I made my way to the poultice rooms, which were basically heated rooms featuring different minerals. This was all good until I decided to test out the 'Red Clay Ball' room, which is a room heated to about 103 degrees that has little clay balls the size of marbles all over the floor. Yes, there was a sign that read 'Watch Your Step' and yes, I thought that I was watching my step. I guess I also wanted the other 10 people who were half-asleep in this room to also watch my step when I fell face forward into their sleeping area. Oh, heeeeeeey, sorry, did I wake you?

At this point, I decided I had enough of bare boobies and tripping, so I got myself a bubble tea and bounced. All in all, it was a fun and interesting experience. I'd go again on a non-holiday!

IN YO' FACE!

I am an aesthetics adventurer! I've been using myself as a guinea pig for as long as I can remember in a lighthearted attempt to have luxurious hair and glowing skin. And at times, it truly is an experiment; In high school, I put raw egg in my hair because I read in 'Seventeen' that it would make my hair super shiny. Instead, I ended up with partially scrambled eggs in my hair as I used hot water instead of cold to rinse it out. Hmmm, breakfast.

Other times, I've been more successful. After a so-so haircut, I always take pre-natal vitamins to help nourish my hair and encourage growth. It totally works! And if you need to get rid of a zit quickly, crush one uncoated aspirin, mix it with honey and lemon juice, and apply it to your face. The aspirin acts as an exfoliant and decreases inflammation while the honey and lemon have anti-bacterial properties that start attacking the blemish. BOOM.

Currently though, I'm embarking upon the world of anti-aging products. While I don't have too many wrinkles just yet, I would like to stop them in their tracks, lest I have to overcompensate for them later in life and end up looking like Kenny Rogers. Things I am incorporating into my routine include: rosehip seed oil, grapeseed oil, Omega-3-6-9, and foods high in anti-oxidants.

I will also be trying face yoga--no stretchy pants needed!